Where do people go for support:
SANDS: stillbirth and neonatal death charity https://www.uk-sands.org
Cruse: Bereavement care http://www.cruse.org.uk
Lullaby Trust: Safer sleep for babies - support for families http://www.lullabytrust.org.uk
Bliss: For babies born too sick, too small, too soon http://www.bliss.org.uk
Tommy's: Funding research into stillbirth, premature birth and miscarriage, and providing information for parents-to-be http://www.tommys.org
Willow Tree Centre: advice and support around pregnancy, miscarriage, abortion and stillbirth http://www.thewillowtreecentre.org.uk
Miscarriage Association: advice and support around miscarriage http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk
Child Bereavement UK: supporting families when a baby or child of any age is dying or when a child is facing bereavement: http://www.childbereavementuk.org
TAMBA: Twin and Multiple Birth Association http://www.tamba.org.uk
Sadly all the support in the world cannot change what has happened, but with lots of good support from trained and dedicated people there can be a way of rebuilding lives when loss occurs. Its also important to recognise that it isn't just the parents who feel the loss, but also the grandparents, siblings, friends and colleagues. These organisations and charities are there for all.
Several years ago I attended a conference by the Association of Radical Midwives (ARM) who had invited a mother to come and talk to us about her experience of losing her son at birth. This remarkable woman, Mel Scott, not only spoke eloquently and passionately about her experience, and how midwives (and doulas) can support a family at this time, but she has also written a book too called After Finley, A diary of events following her sons birth. I obtained a copy of her book as soon as I could, and read it cover to cover. a truly touching and expressive telling of their unimaginable loss, but also an account of the practicalities of what was happening in the weeks and months following. please support Mel's cause by following her website, Finleys Footprints and purchasing her book
Some on-line sources of information are here:
NCT: coping with stillbirth http://www.nct.org.uk
NHS: coping with stillbirth http://www.nhs.uk
I will always hold the memories of the stillbirths I have supported as a doula close to my heart, these tiny lives were over before they even had a chance to start, such a bitter sweet moment of joy at meeting the new babe but knowing that this is all it is going to be melts the soul. For these parents who displayed so much dignity in their pain, I hold a special place in my heart, and always will.It has also been an absolute joy to have supported the same parents birth again, and while their new babies can never replace the ones lost, it has been a special moment indeed to see arms that have been empty for far too long cradling their new baby.
"No mother should ever have to walk
this lonely and painful road
the death of a beautiful child you know
is just too heavy a load"
Quote from 'Beautiful Boy - RIP Darling Adrian' by Cara Veronica Doyle
Please support Baby loss awareness day 15th October: http://www.babyloss-awareness.org